Ember G Writes

Hi.

My last blog post was in July/August, I am honestly not sure when I last wrote anything.

For awhile, I’ve just felt writing anything was too difficult. I felt so anxious about what to write and what not to write – including feeling and worrying that I was letting people down, especially with this blog.

I was putting so much pressure on myself to write. You may have noticed in previous blog posts, that I have mentioned something similar. In truth, I have been really struggling to do the things that used to bring me joy.

Any time I wanted to write – or felt like being creative, I would just talk myself out of it. I would be overcome with anxiety and it would make me feel emotionally paralyzed.

This feeling seemed to affect everything I did, everything I had planned to do, and I just could not face doing little things. Being in regular therapy sessions has been helping? I can’t say for sure, because with any mental health situation, it might change daily.

A couple weeks have passed since my 23rd Birthday, the whole week leading up to the day, I was just not feeling it. I didn’t see the point in celebrating a single day. I felt like I was just going along with it to, almost, apease my family.

The week before, (possibly two weeks) I tested positive for covid. In hindsight, I am pretty sure I was working while having covid… thankfully, I wasn’t to ill with it just extremely tired.

A part of me thinks, having covid was effecting my mood and making me feel low.

I recently started to get back into my photography, I really enjoyed it and for the first time in years, I actually felt motivated to take photographs again. I feel like I am starting to get my motivation back, for the things I enjoy.

However, with all this being said, I am still just really exhausted. I’m going to gently come back to this blog, whether it is a post a month or more frequently. I suppose I am doing this with most things.

I started going the gym this year, I haven’t been for awhile, I am finding it really difficult to start going again. Between being tired after work and tired mentally, I’ve just felt really emotionally paralyzed and so anxious about the simple things, not just going the gym.

Mental health is no joke, and, it is kicking my backside. Please look after yourselves and if you need to go to therapy or councelling, please do.

It might be scary but in the long term, it will benefit you.

Thankyou for waiting so long, thankyou for reading.

Bye for now x