Ember G Writes

Well hello again everyone! Thankyou for all the love on the last post, I appreciate it!

What has your week looked like? Let me know!

It is finally Half Term! Honestly I have been so ready/looking forward to this break, even if it is only brief.

This past week has been crazy, my team had two staff members down & the kids in my class have been dropping like flies!

You always know when a break is approaching. Your body is fighting off every bit of exhaustion & illness known to man!

On one particular day, there was multiple places I needed to be in. I also had to be in those places at exactly the same time.

Sadly, I was unable to duplicate myself so I spent two hours going to each classroom that my students where in, I did over 10,000 steps that day.

It was decided (between me & the one other staff member) that it was the best solution. I had my lunch break while all the kids where in the main classroom, poor guy had a whole class by himself while I ate in the staffroom.

There really was no other choice, which leads me nicely into the topic of today’s blog; Decisions. I hate them. I always have & I probably always will.

The thing about decisions is, you have to make them. Even when the said decisions are hard. Maybe it is the idea of making the wrong choice, or missing out on something else, but I don’t like it.

Even when I am eating out & I am looking through the menu, I feel so overwhellmed by the choices!

The reason I chose this topic to write about today is because, another job opportunity has arose. The said job is in the same place that I did my gap year. I’m not sure what to do about it. The people I have spoken to about this job have said I should at least apply & see what happens.

They’re probably right, but I suppose I am kind of scared to? I’m scared I wouldn’t get the job & that I would take it personally. The other part of me, is worried if I did get it.

Would I do a good job? Would I enjoy it? Is it worth me moving back? I also already have a job in place, so do I really need to apply?

I guess thinking rationally, I haven’t even applied nor do I have the job. I’m just very torn, I am enjoying (most of the time) this job role. I also quite like the role that has come up.

Working for a church however would be hard, it was when I did my traineeship. I do think though, I probably wasn’t in a place or mature enough back then. I didn’t really raise concerns or speak up for myself in some ways. Don’t misinterpret this, I just mean in certain aspects of my year not all of it.

If you have been reading this blog for a few years, you will know how much I loved my gap year. I loved the team, the course, the leadership, the theology & the church community. My living arrangements, not so much.

I know I would still love to be at the church & with the people there.

However, I am worried that people will take liberties & cross boundaries. That was what happened in some parts of my gap year. I also think that there would be certain, individuals, who would not respect me being in a different role & would still see me as the trainee from 3 years ago…

I have learnt a lot & grown a lot since the end of my gap year.

I also know that if God wants me there he will make a way. God will either open the door or close it.

I need to remember, it would be with His strength, His will & trusting Him will help me do a good job in the role. I also know that I have been given this job & ultimately, we do have a God who has given us freewill.

He will use whatever situation I am in to bring Himself glory.

My final point here – is to ask you, the readers, to pray for me. Pray for direction & clarity. Prayer is a powerful thing. Just as I ask you to pray, I will pray for you just ask me/let me know what you need prayer over, because we have an almighty God.

He can handle our requests, much better than we can handle them alone.