Ember G Writes

Two months since the last post, I guess old habits die hard? I’m surprised people still follow this blog or even read a post or two.

The job I had in the pipeline fell through, I haven’t got regular work yet again & I suppose I don’t want to keep talking about employment. A few days ago, I applied for thirteen jobs & contacted the agency & consultant about my plans to leave.

My mental health is, as usual, up & down – fluctuating. I’ve had a few bad days mentally, I haven’t seen the point in most things. The job stress isn’t helping. I’m just so tired of trying in all honesty, things are constantly changing but I remain in a deep muddy trench.

My feet are trying to move forward but the mud keeps pulling me down & back. I am looking forward to when the mud thins, clears to dry steady ground & I can be in the sun.

Hopefully that day is soon because I don’t know how long I can be in this place. At the start of my year I said Joy was the word I wanted to carry through this year, I guess it’s being hard to keep. New Year Resolutions never seem to last!

Four months in & I haven’t really had any joy.

Things never go to plan, when they do it is always great. For instance, you go on holiday & the weather is the best it’s ever been, you hope when you return home the weather will be the best too. Except, when you step off a plane to be greeted by rain or snow or grey skies.

I suppose life is like that too. Unpredictable, full of good weather & bad weather, maybe burning heat or swirling storms.

For the past two weeks for me the actual weather has been awful, it has rained every day with powerful strong winds. I’m only a petite person, one foot out the door & I would’ve flew away, not in the fun way either.

But, I am grateful for resting a lot. I am grateful to have a home, to have family, to have food & clean water. I am grateful to be physically healthy.

Even through the dark, uncertain times remember to be thankful for the small things. To me they might be small but to others it’s a celebration having the necessities.

Be kind, you don’t know what people are going through.