Ember G Writes

Everyone is on their own journey in life. For some it might be a smooth ride, for others it might be full of turbulence. At first it could be a steady line, a few bumps on the way but nothing alarming.

Currently I’m in the rough ground, trekking over small boulders and climbing mountains before walking on the flat, with a stone in my shoe. I guess that is the only way I am able to explain how I feel? It feels as though I am stuck in the same place, going around in circles, getting more disorientated and exhausted.

The stone in my shoe feels huge but I can’t seem to shake it out.

Of course, these are metaphors. My stone seems to be my mental health, for months I have been in a place where I am close to just giving up. I’ve fell back into old (and bad) habits, just staying in bed all day, barely eating and just not being a fun person to be around.

I’ve been anxious leaving the house and even on the most beautiful days of weather, I have stayed inside, usually in bed.

I’m trying to celebrate the smallest things and achievements. Even getting out of bed, doing a bit of tidying, going to the corner shop and choosing to get changed from pajamas to sweat pants is a huge victory for me.

I have consumed a lot of chocolate which helps as well as getting nagged out of bed, for that I am thankful. I may not like the nagging, but it reminds me I am cared for even if I choose not to believe it that day.

I am trying to give myself Grace, to tell myself how I feel is valid and to take my time.

If you are struggling with your mental health, remember it can be small wins. Sitting up in bed? Great! Showering? Great! Making a snack? Wonderful!

Small steps are still steps!